Pappa wants mamma naked
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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