i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize