Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
