she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Sacagawea was the original milf.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
