Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize