eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
