READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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