so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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