I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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