Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
