The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Screwed.edu
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
