More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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