The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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