remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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