uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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