I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
