Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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