thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
