I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
