That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
