Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
