haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
