is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
