Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize