Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
