Sponge bath it is.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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