The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
