I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
