I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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