Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
literally had 100 drinks last night.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
