areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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