biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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