hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
