Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
