The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize