I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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