One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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