bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You left your phone here
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