Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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