And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
