She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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