maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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