he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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