the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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