Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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