Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
