she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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