STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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