I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
