Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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