yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
