WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
