It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
