There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
