I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
