Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
