We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
bring money and cleavage
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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