Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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