No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
