Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How does it feel to date your dad?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
